Be grateful

A week ago I was at Carols by Candlelight in Lonehill. It's not really my comfort zone but sometimes you learn the most extraordinary lessons when you are in a place you would not normally be. So this pastor comes out on stage and starts to tell us a story. He starts telling us that we need to be grateful and at the end of the story he tells us that we have some homework. I fucking hate homework but this time I listened.

"When you leave here," he said. "Stop at your car and look at it and then say this: It could be worse."

The lesson, I suppose, is that no matter how bad things are it is important to remember that there are people worse off than you. I have always struggled with that analogy because it seems shallow to take solace in the fact that there are others suffering in order to make you feel better.

The more I thought about it though the more I realised that's it not about the comparison but being able to count yourself lucky and in turn be grateful for what you have. An appreciation for what you have is an important thing. I have come to terms with the fact that being grateful does not preclude you from wanting more or better.The two aren't mutually exclusive.  It is the natural order of things and for someone like me who sees the world in black and white that's a big step.

So in lieu of the right reverend's um ... sermon I decided to make a list. Some of you are on it.

Things I am grateful for:

1. Let's get this out of the way. I am grateful for Whaley, who keeps me honest and is going to give me huge shit for being such a soft-cock and writing this post.

2. I am grateful for my parents who chose not to live in poverty and instead chose to make a  new life for me, my sister and my little brother.

3. I am grateful for my sister, the strongest woman I know. I am grateful for my baby brother, the most gentle soul I know.

4. I am grateful for the School that Crowns the Hill - and my homies Choppie, Darren, Iggy, Maj, Mozzie, Lux, Pottie, Clibbones and Zingela and Andrew and Rossco and Beck and Primmer and Swarbrick and Dunk on me Z!

5. I am grateful for the Union in week one at Rhodes and seeing Ricky.

6. I am grateful for Doogs and drinking Russian Bear vodka and Coke while we watched girls walking to the pool in O Week.

6. I am grateful for Monty.

7. I am grateful for Wanger the Crap.

8.  I am grateful to have walked out of the Rhodes Library to be stopped by the sight of a pretty, curly-haired blonde, girl with red rosy cheeks dancing between the trees as the Autumn sun set.

9. I am grateful for beeg drinkers, Ok beeeegggg drinkers, let's drink beeeeggggggg! I am grateful for Tans and Spunx and Toolbox and B and Spluz and Jarms.

10. I am grateful for my friends, the G99 Unit. Let us reeb.

11. I am grateful for Kate Weatherall-Thomas tugging on my leg and telling me that her friend likes me.

12. I am grateful for Kameel Perd.

13. I am grateful for El Dorado - and my big brother Fredlin.

14. I am grateful for Knysna and Zandile.

15. I am grateful for my cousin Marrion and Changes nightclub and waking me up in the early hours of the morning so he could sing "Lonely, I'm Mr Lonely" to me.

16. I am grateful for Lu and Rocky and Miki-San  - and looking after me.

17. I am grateful for Wildcard Sue.

18. I am grateful for SAFA House and watching Soccer City being built.

19. I am grateful for Pappacito and I am grateful Amu.

20. I am grateful for that kiss in a deserted room on the 8th floor of FIFA headquarters in Sandton and all it led to. Even the pain.

21. I am grateful for a phonecall from a newspaper publisher which pushed me to the edge and led to me sending that email.

22. I am grateful for Spring Day parties and Marimba bands on my first day of work.

23. I am grateful for my office wife Jobesine.

24. I am grateful for the smell of orange blossoms in the spring time when it fills the passages at work.

25. I am grateful that I own the roof over my head (kind of).

26. I am grateful for everything and everyone in my life.

27. I am grateful that someone thought of taking me to Carols by Candlelight in Lonehill Estate.

28. And more than anything today I am grateful for chocolate spring rolls and the people I shared them with.

F%ck I am soppy.  It's telling though, that what I am most grateful for are not the things I own, but the people I have met and loved in my life. I am grateful for the memories that I have made with them and the lessons I have learnt from them. It makes you think that as much as we want possessions and money in life they are not the things, in the end, which make us happy.

 I am no expert on happiness but perhaps, just perhaps, the secret to it is the people we love. Perhaps the secret is being grateful ... for them.

DISCLAIMER: This list just scratches the tip of the iceberg. Like everyone else I have so much in life to be grateful for. I'll add them to the list as I remember them. I mean you, as I remember you.