Friday, February 14, 2014

Why I dislike Valentine's Day

 
Let's get one thing straight out of the gate: I don't dislike love, or even grand gestures of love, I dislike Valentine's Day.

In fact, I am a huge fan of love and probably an even bigger fan of grand gestures of love. I am the kind of guy who would buy flowers and chocolates and, if I could afford it, a diamond bracelet, to show someone how much I love them. I just find a day of canned, hammy, commercialised love irritating.

Let's start with the commercialism.
It irks me that we live in a society where some people have come to value receiving a gift on "the day of love" over the things that, I believe, make love what it is. Getting a box of chocolates has more romantic currency than a husband who eats insult after insult every day at work so that he can make enough money to look after his wife and kids.

A card and a teddy bear are regarded as more of a measure of someone's love than getting up in the morning, washing the dishes and getting the kids ready for school so that she can sleep in just once this week.

I believe in love and I believe you show someone you love them every day, even on the days that you hate them. Even when he or she stands there and shouts at you, telling you you're not good enough - even then you love them.

Now the hammy part.

I get that love can be corny. Hell, sometimes it has to be. I used to date a girl - a woman actually - who was always serious. We used to go grocery shopping together sometimes and when we were walking down the aisle and a cheesy song came on I would grab her and dance with her. Right there in front of everyone. The point was to show her that I loved her enough to make a complete idiot of myself in public just to put a smile on her face.

But that was spontaneous hammy. It wasn't contrived or planned, the first time it happened, it just did. When you have to search websites or catalogues to find a way to ham up your love for someone you need to re-think your strategy. FFS, take a risk, wrap yourself in cellophane if you want to, but please just don't do it because someone said it was the right thing to do on Valentine's Day.

Now the canned part.
Love should never, ever be canned. That is my biggest problem with Valentine's Day - a lot of it is false. It's not real, especially if it is the only time that the person who "loves" you shows you that.

Once I picked flowers for a girl for no reason other than how she made me feel. I can't even remember what day of the week it was, just how she made me feel.
 
Have I ever bought a girlfriend a Valentine's Day gift? Of course I have. Am I a bit grumpy because this year I won't be able to - perhaps, yes.

I get that some people believe that Valentine's Day is a celebration of love but here is the rub: when you love someone and I mean really, truly, deeply, madly love someone, you celebrate that everyday, not when CNA tells you to. Feel me?

Oh and finally, if you want to do something special for someone and are planning a grand gesture, do it on a day when they will least expect it. How special is your gesture really if everyone else around you is doing the same sort of thing?

DISCLAIMER: I realise that this is a bit of rant but, if you will, please forgive me. It's Valentine's Day.

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