Anyway. It's time for part 5. In this post we are going to concentrate on three more pitfalls in life which might throw you off course. Three more things you should do or not do to make sure you don't end up hating yourself instead of your ex.
Step 11: Work
You'll be tempted to throw yourself into your work after a breakup. You'll want to distract yourself, keep busy, forget about him or her. Don't.
You are all kinds of fucked up right now and working too hard could lead to you working yourself to death.
Don't think it can happen. Read this Bank of America Merrill Lynch intern who died after series of all-night work sessions 'was on verge of being offered £45,000-a-year job'
Rather spend your time doing something constructive. Surf the web, write a blog about breaking up, hit on the hottie in the office. Besides, working harder - at work - is not going to make you any richer. It will just make your boss richer. Screw your boss.
Step 12: Social media
This is tricky. As a couple you gathered mutual friends on Facebook. You started following the same people on twitter and worst of all you updated your relationship status when you two got serious. Now who changes your relationship status first? And how do you deal with the fucking monumental fallout that will follow when people start asking fucking stupid questions like "What happened?". Assholes.
Here's the trick. Change your relationship status first. Then unfriend them and block them on Facebook, Trust me unfriending is not enough. Block them. Build the equivalent of a social media Berlin Wall. You are weak. You will log onto their profile to see what they are up to. Guess what? That "We must go for coffee" post means exactly what you think it does. Especially if there is a smiley face at the end. You will lie in bed at night asking yourself; why the smiley face? Where did they go for coffee? What did they do afterwards?
They boned. That smiley face was to signify that they both knew they were going to bone.
Come to think of it Ryan Gosling is not the devil Mark Zuckerburg is.
Zuckerburg... the devil
Step 13: Relapsing
Relapsing is for pussies. Don't do it.
You know the drill
Do you think your ex relapses into wanting you back? He or she doesn't. Grow a pair and man up - or woman up if you must. If you feel a relapse coming on - drink. Preferably whisky. Whisky is a manly drink - not for pussies. So drinking it will automatically make you feel more manly - even if you are a woman.
Drinking whisky ... more manly than drinking beer
Don't believe me? Here's proof.
Before whisky...
After whisky... the defence rests.
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